luahan hati #1

Assalammualaikum...

They call this as emotional healing.
When sadness overwhelm us.
they ask us to just cry.
It's okay now. just cry.
you'll feel better then.

but, after cry. and keep crying.
why, the feeling of word 'better' doesn't appear?
i'm questioning myself with this. why and why. and why.

and i know.
i discovered the power of positive thinking and acceptance.
That's mean, the healing power in it. wasn't able to release that feeling.
The main. about why are you crying..
now, i always keep positive words to develop the healing power in my heart.
like,

i'll feel much better than before.
i kept this word in my heart.
this word. has power in it.
it reminds me. on every chance i gave him. every single chance. that i gave.
long time ago.

saya mungkin kehilangan awak.
saya mungkin kehilangan impian saya.
saya mungkin kehilangan kenangan-kenangan kita,
tapi.
awak. awak. awak.
awak patut tahu. yang awak telah kehilangan. orang. yang teramat mencintai.
menyayangi. mengasihi awak. sepenuh hatinya. setiap bait perasaan nya.
dari setiap zarah yang wujud dlm hatinya.


stop.
flashback.



Come on la,
This stage will go. and i'll able to move forward. soon. very soon.
like,
after the storm, there'll always a rainbow?
right?


last week.
Someone argued with me,
"jangan memilih. rupa. education level. work stage. everything lah"

my very simple answer. for every single question, arguments. that's been asking to me. all these days.

if i give you my heart. will you take it? 

senangkan?

jodoh tu rahsia Allah. sejauh mana saya menolak. andai tertulis dia jodoh saya. dia tetap jodoh saya.
sejauh mana saya merancang. andai tertulis. dia bukan jodoh saya. dia tetap bukan jodoh saya.

untuk apa saya memilih? dan untuk apa saya merancang?

cukuplah. cukup setakat ini.
jangan di pertikai. jangan di persoal.
kenapa saya masih kekal begini. disini. dalam situasi ini.
menanti dan terus menanti. agar ada sinar di sebalik apa yang berlaku.

This stage will go. and i'll able to move forward. soon. very soon.
Dengan izin darimu Ya Allah.
In shaa Allah.